There is no sock fairy

Just a few minutes ago as my son was sliding through the kitchen on his white socks, this is what I heard myself say:
Stop that! All you are doing is making your socks dirty, then the sock fairy has to clean them....
Then I added (dramatically):
Oh, wait - there is no sock fairy. That would be me!'
And then I thought to myself (because my son had abandoned me by this point) there is no:
Pick up the shoes fairy.
Fold clothes and put them away neatly in the drawers fairy
Ironing fairy
Fairy to plan, shop for and make nutricious, delicious meals and clean up afterwards
Fairy to put away toys
Fairy to make the beds
Fairy to clean the counters, shower stall, tub, sinks, floors, mirrors, windows, toilets, etc., etc., etc.
Fairy to dust and vacuum - this is different than cleaning (in my mind)
Fairy who finds things that get lost
Fairy who mends clothes
Fairy who puts out the garbage

And when you get right down to it, sadly, there are no fairies of any kind at our house. There may be a bunch of gremlins, but that is a whole different story for another day.
What I wouldn't give for at least one of those fairies I mentioned above to appear just once a week. Of course I couldn't pay them, and our place isn't terribly magical, so I don't expect one to show up anytime soon. So, darn it all, I guess it's mostly up to good ol' me, myself and I.
Next time I can't figure out what me, myself and I did all day, we're going to read this over.